The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
