why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
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Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
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Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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