This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
