Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
