So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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