Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
