This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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