I think my fart just growled at me.
you win again, gameday.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Drunk walkin through police station. America
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
