if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Your cock deserves a montage
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Im part way to drunk.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
