I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
