my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
