yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
