k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
