WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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