I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize