I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
