he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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