bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
