what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
