Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
