just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You took a bar mat shot.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
