There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
