Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
