nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
