Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A bitchslap is in order.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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