Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
