Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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