She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
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Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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