the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
...so i touched it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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