I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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