Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
