Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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