I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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