He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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