Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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