Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
