epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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