He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
