So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
birth control should be required to get into college
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
