So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
