I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
