drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
