Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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