Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
