I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
