we have officially lost it.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Randomize