You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
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It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize