I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
