I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
