Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
