Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize