Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
