you would pick up someone in the library
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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