the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
