I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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