i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
