I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she peed on how many people?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
