Do you still have your period?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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