I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
