so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize