Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
