I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
