CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm always down for nudity.
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