According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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